Ins Without Outs!
Everywhere I look I'm seeing lists of Ins and Outs for 2023. I love it, but the twist for this newsletter is I'm leaving out the Outs because telling people what's not cool is out for 2023!
I don't think we need "outs" as they relate to fashion and beauty because style is personal! I will just say that pretending you don't know someone's name when you follow them on Instagram is very much out.
Happy New Year, friends! Have I told you that I’m happy you’re here? I started this newsletter on a whim at the end of last year and it’s been a very pleasant surprise watching it grow. My goal for Kael Mail moving forward is to reign in the chaos a bit and focus on the things that keep you here - In my mind that’s the discovery aspect (I hope you’re finding new and exciting brands/products ) and the aspirational stuff. As always, feedback is appreciated so please leave me a comment and let me know.
Anyway, back to the new year. I genuinely hope it’s a good one. It feels (to me at least) like the last few years have been tough — for obvious reasons, yes — but in general, everything is hard, right? I am choosing to believe this is the year that things turn around and start to fall into place. I have a new manifestation journal, so that should do it!
Before you read this newsletter, please first read this one. Becky Malinsky very astutely summarizes the difference between style and taste which is something I dance around a lot but never quite nail. I tend to make the distinction between fashion and style more often which means, very simply, fashion — and being a consumer of it — does not impart personal style. Style is something you have to recognize as an intimate and distinct outward-facing presentation strategy and nurture until it’s inherent. This is the high level takeaway and I echo Becky’s call to think about your 2023 purchases within that framework. Doing this should contribute to a more sustainable, less consumptive relationship with the things we buy and wear. That’s not to say you shouldn’t experiment — you absolutely should. But what you end up wearing should make you feel incredible, not like you’re wearing a costume. To that end, my recommendations may not work for you and that’s because they’re personal — these are things I love because they speak to my specific style. Ok moving on.
INS WITHOUT OUTS //
In the spirit of cultivating personal style, remember that one person’s in is another person’s out, so, take it all with a grain of salt.
Just for fun, this is the most unhinged In/Out list I’ve seen to date.
IN // Obvious and Immediately Visible Results
I’m talking about Skincare here. How often do you buy something that says it reduces wrinkles or increases collagen or reverses signs of ageing and it’s like, ok I guess I’ll take your word for it? These are the products I’ve used that actually do the things they claim they will in a noticeable way.
Tata Harper Resurfacing Mask // I think this is magic? I don’t really know what else to say except that when you take it off your skin will look generally better than it did before. I use this before events or shoots if I’m on the other side of the camera.
Drunk Elephant T.L.C. Sukari Babyfacial // With a name like that I’m expecting huge things here. This is an at-home peel which sounds abrasive but it’s just abrasive enough to make a difference. My skin looked brighter and more radiant but it also felt SO soft for days afterward.
Dr. Lara Devgan Hyaluronic Serum // Apparently Hyaluronic is divisive amongst the dermatological community. Some derms claim that it isn’t the hydrating miracle the internet believes it to be. As someone with no dog in that fight, I will say that this serum turns your skin into a pane of glass with 1 pm sun shining directly through it.
IN // Glitzy, over-the-top jewels with a makeup-free face
Maybe it’s delayed inspiration from Alicia Keys’ denouncing of makeup (which I now realize was a very long con marketing move prior to launching her own skincare line), or maybe I just don’t know what I’m doing, but makeup isn’t as exciting to me as it once was.
A quick visual reference for you here:
This year, I want to minimize the makeup and maximize jewelry so that I feel pretty and a lil bit fancy, but still like myself. These are the jewels that can do the heavy lifting (The prices range from reasonable to very unreasonable, FYI).
Paco Rabanne Pixel Double FL Earrings, Sophie Bille Brahe Fontaine De Fleurs, Agmes Baroque Bodmer Earrings, Mateo New York 18K Spiral Necklace, 1960’s Rhinestone Chandelier Earrings, Jil Sander Tassel Earrings, Mateo 14k Pearls and Diamond Chain Choker, Lelet NY Ear Cuff, Cult Gaia Gold Tone Crystal Earrings, Laura Lombardi Gold Plated Necklace
IN // Leggings (but not the workout kind) + catsuits!
I either want to wear leggings or absolutely huge pants. There is no in between for me at present. I’ll focus on leggings + catsuits for now and leave huge pants for another time. The reason I don’t want you to wear the workout kind is because if they’re of good quality, they are probably made of a technical fabric, so they have a very different feel. The effect is less completed outfit and more thrown together in a pinch if that makes sense. A good fabric that is not performance-wear will make the whole look more polished.
Leggings have a complicated history. When worn outside the context of a gym, they’re sometimes associated with laziness, lack of forethought, disheveled moms, tweens…not great. I say no more! I’m going to start wearing regular, good quality cotton leggings as I would any other pants I own this year. The only difference is they’ll be more comfortable, ready to go under a snowsuit (which has become a real issue for me), better for boot pairings, easily dressed up with a sharp heel and an oversized blazer that maybe you’ve belted… why do we fight this? The catsuit works the same way but is even easier. Throw an open oversized button down over it all (unless you’ve sprung for the YSL catsuit, don’t put anything that except maybe a sharp black overcoat), add jewels but no makeup and get the hell outside! You look great!
The Row Woolworth Stretch Ponte Leggings (FWIW I don’t think you need 800 dollar leggings. but if you want them to feel more like a pant and your disposable income supports it, these are nice.), Eileen Fisher Stretch Knit High-Waisted Leggings, Leset Rio Belted Stirrup Pant, Commando Neoprene Leggings, Skims Glissenette Catsuit, Saint Laurent Floral Catsuit, Fleur du Mal Rose Velvet Catsuit, Leset Rio Stirrup Catsuit, Norma Kamali Low Back Catsuit
IN // Dressing With Distinction
Oldest trick in the book but get weird! Please (within the parameters of your personal style as previously discussed)!
I read an article on Business of Fashion about the top retail themes for 2023 and something that really spoke to me was the assumption that people will want to stand out when they dress for events. The LBD is O.V.E.R!
This is the new LBD. We want to get the Ton talking! (Do enough of you watch Bridgerton to get this reference?) No more blending in.
Or this. Wear a shirt if you like. Anything goes!
Attico Suit
Do you need a cover up for your formalwear? Can I interest you in a giant body scrunchie? Put the shawl away!
Vaquera Giant Scrunchie
Still cold? Wear a dress with the gloves already attached!
Richard Quinn Gloved Floral Print Dress
Drama! The more the better!
Elena Velez
Your presence is a present! Act like it!
Saint Sintra
IN // Wearing No More Than Two Colours Unless The Colour Are Actually Tones
Hear me out — two colours is nice, three or more is chaotic. If you’re going for chaos, great. Let it rip. But in general I think this is a good rule of thumb for me going into 2023. Two caveats here - tones and multiple colors in one garment ( that seems obvious as I type this, but still). Tones are different than colours. If you want to wear twelve shades of camel, I love that for you. Just stick with similar undertones ( warm + warm, etc). If your singular garment is extremely colourful, a good approach would be to pull one of the colours out and use it as your anchor for all the other pieces. Tie it all together, land the plane, etc etc. The coat can be a wildcard because let’s have a little fun right?
Unrelated but Important —
Have you seen Triangle of Sadness? Watch it, but not alone. I have never experienced so much anxiety and discomfort while watching a comedy in my life. Without giving anything away, I will just tell you that I screamed, laughed, covered my eyes and shouted “how is this still happening?!” For 10 minutes straight.
WHAT I WANT TO WEAR TODAY //
Stacey Nishimoto The Carla Choker, The Row Jade Kumano Cashmere Sweater, Vintage Beige Long Coat, MM6 Maison Margiela Black Small Triangle Tote, Wardrobe Front Zip Legging, Prada Black + White Jacquard Boots
DREAM WITH ME //
Higher Dose Infrared Sauna // A whole personal sauna! This is what I dream about now as I climb ever closer to middle age.
Vivienne Westwood World’s End Orange Cotton Jersey Toga Dress with Henri Matisse Print, A/W 1982 // Long Live Queen Vivienne — the original Punk and an absolute legend.
Fogo Island Inn // Take me somewhere both wild and luxurious!
FROM MY SAVED FOLDER //
