AMA Edition!
I asked you to write this week's Kael Mail for me in the form of submitting your burning style questions via instagram. There were a lot (fun!), so we're going to tackle a few at a time.
I asked, you answered. Or maybe you asked, and I’ll try to answer. In any case, you are all very confused by wedding dress codes, how to approach trends, and “capsule” wardrobes (which I will refer to as uniform dressing because it’s a better description of what you want). Those are the main themes I’m going to get into today and save the others for the coming weeks.
Q: Trends, Splurges, Etc.
Trends are cyclical, they come and go. Meaning, things will fall out of favour and come back into favour a million times over the course of your human life. It’s usually styling trends that make something feel dated or old rather than a piece itself. If you take something out of it’s editorial context and think about it in your life, does it work?
So — when debating, ask yourself a few things. First, do you like this trend? Does it look good on you and make sense for your lifestyle? No? Move on. Yes? Great —adopt it into your wardrobe and don’t think of it as a trend. Think of it as something new that you came across and now wear from time to time because it makes you feel great. I think a good example here is corsets — they are everywhere right now, but they have been around for centuries, floating in and out of trend cycles. How many times have you kicked yourself for getting rid of a very specific piece that all of a sudden feels right? Hang on things that you love but maybe can’t find a way to wear right now — it will come back to you in time.
And yes, I am once again going to defer to grade 2 level math and ask you think about Cost Per Wear. Are you wearing it multiple times a week? Splurge! Are you dipping a toe in uncharted waters? Save until you know for sure and then splurge!
Here are some great websites to find your next splurge that’s also likely on trend
Maimoun // Fresh and fun. They carry a lot of familiar brands (Baserange, Maryam Nassir Zadeh) but also new and exciting brands like Priscavera and Puppets and Puppets. I also love the styling and the photography — it feels trustworthy, like someone cool letting you in on a secret.
Macondo Store // A self-described energetic universe, which is bang on. It’s a mix of established brands and new brands that compliment each other perfectly. I love shopping somewhere that I can find familiar brands (so I know I’m in good hands) but also discover new ones. Kudos to the buying team on a strange and wonderful mix.
Browns // Browns is the most exciting of the Big Boys, IMO. They have all the brands that you know and love, but the buy is different and more fun. It somehow feels like there is a discovery element even though you probably know most designers. The styling helps - it’s great to see styling that actually inspires creativity and shows possibilities, beyond the standard e-comm shots.
Shyness // UK based, this store has TONS of brands, and probably a lot that are new to you (and me!). Shyness feels very The Fifth Element, in the best way possible. I would love for you to explore Ottolinger (of which they have a great assortment) it’s always surprising to me how well it fits and how good it looks. Simplify the styling and wear something easy with it (a white tee or simple jeans) if you need to tone it down a bit.
Koi Bird // The UK is cool and more experimental than we are in the US and Canada and I love that for them, but I’d like us to get there too! HAVE FUN, OK? basics are great but so is something so fucking wild that you have to explain it to people everywhere you go. Anyway Koi Bird sells designer as well as vintage and I love a mix because that’s how a lot of people dress these days.
Quick Fashion Break — My friend (and the entire internet) recommended this book to me and I loved it so much:
Q: Pregnancy, and Beyond! //
There were a lot of questions around how to not lose sight of personal style during pregnancy, and about dressing for fluctuating body shapes in general. I’m not big on “maternity” dressing, so these sort of blended into one long-winded answer. High level direction is to lean into what can be worn open or over certain things. Also - don’t buy a lot of stuff. Anything and everything is “Maternity” if you want it to be. Maternity-wear (aside from Hatch or Bumpsuit) is generally unnecessary and usually just smart marketing — stretchy/loose things labeled as maternity! Set yourself up with a good onesie from Bumpsuit (despite the name, these are easily wearable postpartum. Think of them the same way you would a slip dress), and anything jersey from Norma Kamali, (I wear this all the time and it works pregnancy and beyond). Deiji, Doen, Roucha, and my fave lady Eileen Fisher (would love to take this opportunity to ask you again not to put Eileen into a matronly box — she deserves better), are some brands that can stay with you through pregnancy and after and not because they are maternity, but because the styles are not super tailored and adapt to fluctuating bodies.
Keep your button downs + blazers in rotation and layer them over the fitted styles. Flared knit pants are *still* having a moment so it’s a great time to wear stretchy flared pants. This one is always out of stock but put yourself on the waitlist because it’s soft, stretchy, flattering and perfect for changing bodies. Short onesies like this one in the warmer months are cute under gauzy button down shirts. Don’t just go oversized all over! Make sure some part of your garment is fitted whether it’s the shoulders/arms/bust/stomach. It’s nice to define the stuff you’re feeling good about.
A final thought - MEET YOURSELF WHERE YOU ARE! Buy the size that fits you, not the size you used to buy/want to buy. If it fits, it will look good.
Q: Wedding Dress Codes Are Hard //
Black Tie // Not as formal as White Tie, and more common. To me this means try your best and, for women, wear something below the knee. *Below the knee is a weird zone that isn’t always flattering — you want the hem to hit anywhere but the widest part of your leg/calves. I think ankle is nice* Black tie does not refer to colour — you want to take into account your location. Are you on a tropical island? Maybe not black. Are you in the sculpture hall at the Met? Sure, black! It’s more about the length and the perception that this is the best you look on a sliding scale.
Depending on the location/couple getting married — you have options. This is like White Tie for fun people. And yes jumpsuits can work here — just make sure the fabric is right. Jersey/knits don’t work. Go for softly tailored silk or wool to be safe. Send me pics if you’re not sure, I got you. (I like this simple and elegant Paris Georgia Slip dress. This Magda Butrym suit works if you’re feeling spicy. If you want to go the jumpsuit route, this Rotate number is fancy enough. Reformation has weirdly become a big player in the bridesmaid space but they have nice options for guests too — I like this one for summer black tie.) Also to note - Solace London has some of the best selections for wedding guests — worth a look in all categories except White Tie.
White Tie // Strictly gowns. Operative word being strict. There is minimal flexibility here — people who employ this dress code are likely very serious about it. It’s formal and this isn’t the place to take risks. If you’re going to a white tie wedding you’re wearing a gown and (hopefully!) some gloves. Or you’re wearing a tux and tails. (Emilia Wickstead is a great place for high-end, proper gowns like this one.)
Cocktail (Seasonal Cocktail included) // This basically means don’t wear jeans. Cocktail is exactly what is sounds like — the fun, sexy, slightly chaotic cousin to formal attire. Shorter lengths are fine, suits with tee-shirts are great, jumpsuits, rompers, sheaths… honestly you don’t need me for this. Just pick something seasonally appropriate and run with it. This is your chance to take some risks so do it! We are very open to flair in a cocktail situation! (This Beaufille dress is a perfect red. Shushu/tong is fun and cute (case in point). The fit is small and it’s pretty tailored, so — specific. Alessandra Rich is the designer I want to wear to an Italian wedding. Charming and sexy at the same time — look at this cutie! Other designers to look at here — Batsheva, Puppets and Puppets, Coperni, Ester Manas + Mara Hoffman (Batsheva, Mara Hoffman and Ester Manas have good options for a broader size range).
I’m putting this week’s WIWTW here because it applies to weddings:
What I Want to Wear to a Cocktail Wedding //
Now I’m thinking about weddings. I have one coming up in May in Sicily and, JT + Rose if you’re reading this, I might wear the below outfit. Speak now or forever hold your peace.
Magda Butrym Red Silk Blazer, Magda Butrym Red Silk Pants, Skims Square Neck Bodysuit, Gold Prada Slides, Rosantica Crystal Bag, Sophie Bille Brahe Promenade de Perles Earrings
*For a more approachable option that has a similar feel, I think this Zara suit is a great swap. Also works with Gold + Pearl accessories.
QUICK BREAK - I can’t stop listening to this song:
I am absolutely blasting it right now and having a little dance in my kitchen.
Q: UNIFORM DRESSING - I CAN’T DO IT FOR YOU BECAUSE IT’S HIGHLY PERSONAL BUT I’LL TELL YOU HOW I THINK ABOUT IT //
Creating a capsule wardrobe for a broad range of people is hard because everyone’s personal style is different but — the principle is the same. Uniform dressing is helpful! For me, that means a rotation of a few pairs of good jeans (one baggy pair, one straight leg pair, one black pair, one with a flare), a black suit, several of the same black and white tees, bodysuits, a few sweaters — one slim and easy to layer + a bigger cardigan that takes the place of a blazer in more casual settings — and button downs. I like white classic ones, oversized and more editorial, category crossover, striped, solid… I like variety here.
Shoe-wise, Aeyde is top of my list these days. Listen — stilettos are not a part of my life anymore and I’ve made peace with it. I hate them, and it’s liberating. Give me a block heel, a platform and/or a kitten heel and I’m good ALL DAY. The only rule I ever abide by when it comes to fashion is that I will not punish myself for it. These shoes are well made, chic and wearable.
DREAM WITH ME //
Stanley Whitney, Sixteen Songs, 1984.
That’s all! Bye!
Thank YOU!
Thank you Kaelen. Your mail is a gift that keeps on giving.